May 12, 2011

CharcoalCoyote’s Qwop Challenge!

So, I’m sure many of you have seen this game called QWOP by now. It’s pretty old news, and the creator has already put out a new one called GIRP (which is just as hard, but in a different way.) If you’ve still not seen it, HERE is a link to the game on its home website. Most of you who have played have only stuck it out to the ten meter mark before ragequitting (I’ve made it to fifty meters three times, but never gotten past it.) So, I challenge you, TGB readers, staff, and whoever else would like to play: Beat QWOP. Go the distance. Run all the way to the end, and jump as far as you can.

But why, you may ask? Why would I consume that much of your time? How about this; the winner of this little challenge dictates what my next article will be about. Want my thoughts on the situation in Libya? You got em. Want to know how I feel about anime? Go right ahead. Do I enjoy cuddling soft fluffy kittens? Beat QWOP and find out.

Rules of the Challenge:

  1. The QWOP Challenge begins at exactly 12 PM EST on Friday, May 13th. It ends immediately at 12 PM EST the following Friday, May 20th.
  2. As an anti-cheating measure, you must submit a PHOTO (not a screenshot) of your screen. You must have this article open in one tab, and your winning QWOP screenshot tab open (if your browser doesn’t support tabbed browsing, I would suggest upgrading.) The photo must also contain a post-it note or other piece of paper with the words “I think CharcoalCoyote should write an article about <insert  topic here>”. If you can still cheat through all this, well, I admire your cheating skills. You will read the article you suggested and know that you are a D-bag.
  3. I reserve the right to not write an article about topics that would be too extremely inappropriate for our website. If this happens, I’ll allow you to suggest another topic. Once again, don’t be a D-bag.
  4. In the event that I get multiple winning submissions, the one who jumps the farthest at the end (longest distance) wins. If it’s a perfect tie, I just might write two articles.

So, good luck to all you participating out there. I look forward to seeing what you come up with. QWOP on, my friends!


  1. DrPixel - May 24, 2011 1:30 pm

    Okay, thanks Coyote! ^_^

    Oh yeah, and I really didn’t know what to choose for the article so I just chose “indie games in general”. Hope that isn’t too generic…xD

  2. zero_19 - May 24, 2011 12:31 pm

    I was on vacation so I failed to QWOP into Mordor….not that I could beat that game, I wasted enough office time on that damn thing when I first found it.

  3. CharcoalCoyote - May 24, 2011 8:04 am

    I’ll check it when I get home. It’ll be the only entry I’ve received, so if it proves to be legit (and I don’t doubt it), you get your choice of article!

  4. DrPixel - May 24, 2011 1:41 am

    Is it too late to post a [CHARLIE SHEEN] winning entry for this? ^_^ I have beaten Qwop! I don’t know if you just like, deleted all the comments, or I’m the only one with a pic but here it is:

    I know it’s not a photo, I don’t own a webcam so I had to resort to a screenshot. At least I put the time in the bottom right hand corner? Eh, worth a shot.

    The game was fun and I’d actually never tried it before so I had to ask a friend for some help, which actually worked great. 😀

  5. CharcoalCoyote - May 15, 2011 4:38 pm


  6. oureax - May 15, 2011 3:36 pm

    Hahaha. Looks like fun. I want you to write about GOG. So i’m surely going for gold.


  7. AceOfNades69 - May 13, 2011 6:32 pm

    I actually figured out a method to beat this….2nd try i went 68.1 meters


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